Loving the Tough Ones to Love
Series: 40 Days of Love
March 1, 2009
Pastor Bill Bump
Loving VDPs: Very Draining People
I Corinthians 13:5 (NLT)
Love is not rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
THREE MARKS OF REAL LOVE
1. The first type of VDP: Difficult People
FIRST MARK OF LOVE: LOVE IS NOT RUDE. SO I MUST BE TACTFUL, NOT JUST TRUTHFUL.
One of the ways we can be tactful is simply by listening.
Proverb 18:13 (Mes)
Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.
Ephesians 4:31,32 (CEV)
Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.
Telling it “like it is” sometimes just reinforces the negative while “telling it like it could be” sometimes helps people move forward.
Proverb 16:21 (GN)
A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is.
The way we say something often determines the way it is received.
2. The second type of VDP: Demanding People
THE SECOND MARK OF LOVE: LOVE DOESN’T DEMAND ITS OWN WAY. SO I MUST BE UNDERSTANDING, NOT DEMANDING.
Philippians 2:5-7 (NLT)
Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form.
Titus 3:2 (GN)
Tell them not to speak evil of anyone, but to be powerful and friendly, and always to show a gentle attitude toward everyone.
The Bible tells us that patience comes from perspective.
Perspective comes with knowing a person’s background, battles, and burdens.
The key to dealing with demanding people: Be tender without surrender.
3. The third type of VDP: Disappointing People
THIRD MARK OF LOVE: LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE. SO I MUST BE GENTLE, NOT JUDGMENTAL.
Galatians 6:1 (NCV)
Brothers and sisters, if someone in your group does something wrong, you who are spiritual should go to that person and gently help make him right again. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin, too.
Romans 14:12,13 (NIV)
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore, let us stop passing judgment on one another…
It is important to understand the difference between using your judgment and being judgmental.
Proverb 15:4 (NLT)
Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
CONCLUSION:
ACTION STEPS:
Practice the three ways of love we discussed today:
1. Practice being tactful, not just truthful.
2. Practice being understanding, not just demanding.
3. Practice being gentle, not judgmental.
